When you did it for one of the least of these…

The above phrase, and the surrounding verses, keep playing through my head.  I have a friend, who I have known for about 9 years now.  She is currently homeless, and has been for about 3.5 years now, largely because of poor choices.  She was addicted to drugs for many years, but she and her boyfriend have been completely clean for 10.5 months now and are very close to regaining custody of their 10 month old baby girl.  They just have to find a place to live.  They are currently living in their car and get visits with the baby twice a week.

Anyway, over the past few years I have set boundaries – no, you cannot move in with me, I will not loan or give you money, I will gladly get you something to eat if you are hungry, etc.  Recently, they have frequently asked me if they can take showers at my house.  I let them do this once, but it's not something I really feel comfortable with.  So now I make up excuses (which are usually true) whenever they ask to take showers…I got home late, I’m tired, etc.  And to be honest I really don’t like other people taking showers in my shower anyway.  I never have.  I don’t really want to let them take showers at my house.  It’s an inconvenience.

 

But then there’s that little piece of me that feels guilty.  It’s been really cold here lately.  It’s been in the 30’s the last couple days when I’ve driven to work in the mornings.  There was a sheet of ice frozen on my windshield the last two days.  And when I get home to my nice warm house with my heater to sleep in my nice comfy warm bed at night I can’t help but think, I don’t deserve any of these things…yes, I go to work every day and know how to save money and pay my bills, but I didn’t do anything to deserve being born into an upper class two parent family, where I never had to go hungry, never had to worry about where my next meal was coming from, never had to not feel safe, was never exposed to violence, graduated high school, graduated college (which was paid for), never experienced prejudice or discrimination, was never abused…

And what about these verses? "For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’” (Matthew 25:35-40)

It just makes me wonder what Jesus would truly want me to do. I feel like maybe there is no easy answer sometimes.
 

Life these days

Nearly 5 years later. Not a lot has changed and yet so much has. I am five years older. I have lost my best friend, the best friend I have ever had. I have a new job. I work for the School of Medicine at Loma Linda University, the same school of medicine that I attempted to attend four times. Attempted and failed four times. But God is the God of Restoring and Renewing. Not always in the way we expect or want, but somehow working here has been extremely restorative. I am on the other side of things now, but I have a much deeper understanding of what it is like being a student.