On the eve of classes starting (Sunday night), I decided to give up Facebook for awhile, and that is the last time I logged in. It has only been three days, but it feels like a lot longer. I feel disconnected from everyone, and throughout the day I keep thinking of things that would be great for my fb status. But at the same time, FB had become a HUGE time-waster, plus I don't really need to know every time someone I barely even know anymore gets a haircut, goes to bed, has a bad day, makes dinner, etc. I guess the degree to which I am missing it just shows me how addicted I was.
Yesterday I restarted school. And at my appointment with Dr. Mar in the afternoon, I realized that whatever happens, I'll be okay with it either way. I didn't exactly want to go back to MS, and while I will be a little sad if I fail exams and have to stop, at the same time it will be a huge relief and then I will just be done. So it will be okay. And if I pass exams, well then that will be what I've always wanted. So that will be okay too. So now all I have to do is do my best for the next four weeks and not let myself get too anxious or stressed.
Don't go home every weekend - soak up every minute of time you can living in Santa Barbara. You will miss it terribly once you're gone. Drinking isn't all it's cracked up to be. At its best you'll waste money, act silly, and make yourself sick, and at its worst you'll put yourself in dangerous situations, break the law, do things you'll regret later, and make yourself violently ill. You think life sucks now...just wait a few years. You have the best parents in the world. It will always be harder for you than for most people, but you will eventually learn to interact and make friends with people. You won't always be alone. Please don't starve yourself. I know it makes you feel better, but the consequences really aren't worth it. Oh yeah, and you can skip the cutting too. It won't provide any real relief. Even though all you want is to be accepted to medical school, it just may be the most difficult and painful thing to ever happen to you. Jason is a total loser and he doesn't really love or care about you. Don't give him your time or heart. You don't need to drive 90mph everywhere. Besides the fact that you WILL get a speeding ticket, it just isn't safe. Dating really isn't all that great - you won't miss out on anything if you wait a while before trying it. As much as it may seem to be true, your self-worth really isn't based on the grades you get. God loves you and cares about you more than you can imagine. Even if it doesn't always feel like it.
I am a full time first year medical student at Loma Linda University. I enjoy serving in the nursery at my church, playing with my two kitties Butterscotch and Caramel, and visiting and spending time with my family. Most importantly, I want to glorify God in all I say and do and be content living my life exactly the way He has planned it. :)
"Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6