My bad day

- First, I spilled an entire container of balsamic vinaigrette in the doorway and front porch of my house as I was getting ready for work (and as a result, the entryway is still a cross between an oil slick and a sticky mess and the front porch looks like someone bled out)
- As a result of the above, I was three minutes late to work
- I had to listen to over an hour of crying at work
- I tripped over a stroller and cut my toe
- My sunglasses broke
- I had a terrible headache that lasted for over 6 hours and was so bad I nearly threw up
- As I result of the above, I left church super early, went home and went to bed at 6:30pm and slept till 6:30 the next morning (thank you seroquel!)
And thankfully, that was the end of the bad day

This past week

Things I have done for the first time:
- Changed a crib sheet
- Trimmed a baby's finger nails (and just for the record, I successfully cut all 10 fingernails without cutting any of his fingers)

Things I have wondered:
- Why no one has invented a device to hold a pacifier in a baby's mouth
- Why no one has invented some kind of spit up catching device for babies who spit up a lot
[And yes, these are rhetorical questions, no need to actually answer them]

I never thought of it like that...

So last week at Elevate (young adult Bible study) the topic was Eschatology and we were talking about the Final Judgment. Using Rev 20:11-15, we were looking at who would be judged. And when we got to the part about unbelievers being judged and thrown into the lake of fire Kevin just happened to mention that believers would be present. And I said wait, you mean we have to witness people being sentenced to eternity in hell??? I had never thought of it that vividly before, and I was stunned. To think of having to watch actual people getting sent to hell made me feel practically sick. And I haven't been able to get the thought out of my mind since. I also haven't been able to stop thinking about all the times I haven't shared Christ with people... In essence I'm doing the same thing then. By not sharing the way to heaven with the lost it is pretty much the same as watching them get sent to hell.
Lord, help me to always keep this thought at the front of my mind and remember what actually lasts in my conversations with others.

My car

Me at the car place two weeks ago:
Me: The car is leaking oil
Car place: The cap was just loose, it’s fine
Me: Really? It has been leaking a lot of oil
Car place: Yeah it’s fine

I call the car place yesterday:
Me: I am 99% sure the car is still leaking oil
Car place [not too concerned]: Well I guess you can bring it back in tomorrow if you want

Me at the car place today:
Car place: So there’s a leak in the front engine, it’s leaking quite a bit of oil, do you need the car for the weekend? We don’t want to let it go too long because it might do more damage…
Me: Well if you remember when I brought the car in for an oil change two weeks ago I told you it was leaking oil and y’all assured me it was just a loose cap, and I told you I was actually pretty sure it was more than just a loose cap…
Car place: Oh. That’s right.

Tomorrow...

This Gloria Estefan song says "But there's always tomorrow to start over again..." But it doesn't really work like that. I actually feel like tomorrow (or at least the concept of tomorrow) is my worst enemy. I am a chronic procrastinator. Every day when I waste time and don't get anything done, I end the day promising myself that tomorrow will be different, that I'll study tomorrow, be productive, get stuff done, make up for all the time I wasted today. And yet it never happens like that, because the next day I tell myself the same thing. "There's always tomorrow". And I guess there always will be. Except that every tomorrow is exactly like the one before. Which is why I never accomplish anything...

This week

I seriously don't feel like I can make it through the next week. My cat, Peter, has an inoperable brain tumor. It started out as him walking around the house randomly meowing for hours at a time about 7 weeks ago and has progressed to him turning in circles, having difficulty walking (left-sided hemiparesis), difficulty eating, blindness in his left eye and unilateral pupillary dilation (mydriasis), confusion, etc. My heart breaks for him. And I am experiencing all of this from afar. Petey is at my parents' house, 400 miles away. I'm glad he is there, he has lived there for his entire almost 13 years with his three adoring sisters (litter-mates). They were actually born on the roof of our house. I just wish I were there. Oh how desperately I wish I were there. At this point I just hope he lives long enough that I can see him one more time when I fly home this Friday. Five more days.
As if all that weren't hard enough, I have a week full of exams ahead of me. Exams that I have not studied nearly enough for and that I feel like I am about to miserably fail. And I already had some serious recovering to do from the last set of exams! Seriously, my life is just one big disaster right now.

I can't do this

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”