Monday, December 05, 2011

Protecting myself

Recently, I have found myself saying things like "If I'm still in med school after Christmas...", "If I don't pass these exams the school of medicine may not let me continue..." and such more and more often, even to people who don't know my history. And I was realizing this evening that it's because I'm scared, and I'm trying to protect myself as much as I can from the pain that I know is inevitable if I don't make it. Now, unlike other years, I think that there is actually a fairly strong possibility that I will make it.

While the thought of failing is scary, I realized tonight that passing is just a little bit scary too. I have only been this far once before. And pretty soon I will be in completely uncharted territory. A little bit scary, yes, but also a little exciting. I do really really want to succeed. More than ever before.

1 comment:

Karissa said...

I've only been this far once before.
That is a great line. It's scary to be in a new place, even if it's a good place (I'm having my first kid sometime in the next 3-4 weeks).
Oh, and found you from 'finding wonder in the mundane's blog--she's an old college friend of my husband's :)