Beauty for Ashes?

"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me...to grant consolation & joy to those who mourn in Zion - to give them a garland of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a heavy, burdened, & failing spirit - that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified." Isaiah 61.1 & 3

These past several years have been so difficult in so many ways. If I could have known three years ago at the start of medical school, or five years ago when I started at Westmont, where I would be today, I don't think I could have handled it. In fact, I know I couldn't have. There is a reason we cannot see or know what the future holds. At this point, consider how the past few years have been, I wouldn't want to know the future even if I could. I keep waiting for the "beauty for ashes", to see how this puzzle fits together, to figure out the why of all this pain. But I may never know this side of heaven, and things may never get any better or easier...Which is kind of hard to swallow