Sunday, October 30, 2011

Will it be like this every single time?

I thought last time was the biggest deciding factor for my future in medical school and my career as a doctor. I passed all my exams last time, and now I feel like I am in the exact same spot I was in 5 weeks ago. Exept I haven't studied nearly as much for this set of exams. But I do have one entire set of passed exams behind me, so that's one positive thing I've got going for me. Even if I fail every single exam this round of tests, it won't be the end of the world. For me as a person (God still loves me regardless, and med school is not the most important thing in life, even if it feels like it sometimes) or for my career as a doctor (as in, my grades will technically all still be salvageable even if I fail everything). Not that I want to fail everything (or anything, for that matter), but it always helps me to put things in perspective.
This afternoon was the first time (maybe this entire school year?) that I really started feeling really anxious and kind of freaking out. But like I've realized before, anxiety and worry won't help one bit or change anything (unless it motivates me to study, and in my case it usually doesn't, it just paralyzes me with fear), so there's no reason to ruin this entire week by giving in to fear and anxiety.
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34)
"And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." (Galatians 6:9)

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