Lots of Lines (Foto Friday)

This week's photo challenge was "Lines". To participate in this week's Foto Friday and see others' photos of lines, visit Rebecca's blog!

Seize the Day

My hands were busy through the day
I didn't have much time to play
The little games you asked me to,
I didn't have much time for you.
I'd wash your clothes, I'd sew and cook,
But when you'd bring your picture book
And asked me please to share your fun,
I'd say,"A little later, Son."
I'd tuck you in all safe at night
And hear your prayers, turn out the light,
Then tiptoe softly to the door...
I wish I'd stayed a minute more.

For life is short, the years rush past...
A little boy grows up so fast.
No longer is he at your side,
His precious secrets to confide.
The picture books are put away,
There are no longer games to play,
No good-night kiss, no prayers to hear,
That all belongs to yesteryear.
My hands, once busy, now are still.
The days are long and hard to fill.
I wish I could go back and do
The little things you asked me to!

Random Survey

1. What time did you get up this morning? 5:30ish maybe? I couldn't sleep.

2. How do you like your steak? Very well done if I eat it at all.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? New Moon maybe? I don't see a lot of theatre movies.

4. What is your favorite TV show? Grey's Anatomy. Or Bones.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Here (Colton/Loma Linda). I don't like change.

6. What did you have for breakfast? Oatmeal. Plain.

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Honestly? American. But I do like Thai, Mexican, and Chinese.

8. What foods do you dislike? Any seafood/fish other than canned tuna and fish sticks

9. Favorite Place to Eat? I'm not sure...I'm always so indecisive.

10. Favorite dressing? Italian or ranch.

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? 1999 Green Ford Escort and I love it.

12. What are your favorite clothes? Jeans and tennis shoes. Although sometimes I do like dressing up.

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? Canada, Europe, Hawaii

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? The cup usually isn't even half empty...it's completely empty!

15. Where would you want to retire? Here I guess. But I don't really feel like retiring right now.

16. Favorite time of day? Nap time?

17. Where were you born? At Stanford Hospital in Palo Alto, California.

18. What is your favorite sport to watch? Baseball.

19. Bird watcher? What? No, not except when I was taking a zoology class.

20. Are you a morning person or a night person? Neither.

21. Do you have any pets? Two cats and a fish.

22. What did you want to be when you were little? A mom.

23. What is your best childhood memory? Going fun places with my family and playing with my siblings.

24. Are you a cat or dog person? Cat.

25. Are you married? No.

26. Always wear your seat belt? Yes...me and anyone else who's in my car.

27. Been in a car accident? A few, but none of them were very major or my fault.

28. Any pet peeves? Spelling and grammatical errors. People who smoke.

29. Favorite Pizza Toppings? Cheese.

30. Favorite Flower? Anything pretty.

31. Favorite ice cream? Chocolate Chip

32. Favorite fast food restaurant? Subway

33. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Zero

34. From whom did you get your last email? Petsmart or facebook...

35. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? The idea of maxing out my credit card at any store is not very appealing.

36. Do anything spontaneous lately? I'm really more of a planner.

37. Like your job? Working with autistic kids? Yes, it's challenging but very rewarding. Babysitting? Of course, all I've ever wanted is a baby of my own.

38. Broccoli? Sure, if someone else fixes it for me.

39. What was your favorite vacation? Going to Yosemite with my family

40. Last person you went out to dinner with? The young adult group at my church

41. What are you listening to right now? Marvelous Light by Charlie Hall

42. What is your favorite color? Green

43. How many tattoos do you have? None

Loving (Foto Friday)

This week's photo challenge was "Loving". And what more perfect form of love is there than Christ's death on the cross for us! To participate in this and other Foto Fridays (and see some others' cool representations of "Loving"), check out Rebecca's blog.

Emma

2 Timothy 4:6-8
"For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing."

A week ago sweet Emma finished her race and entered the presence of her Heavenly Father. She is whole and perfect and basking in the presence of Jesus Christ. Please pray for her family - while we rejoice for Emma, we grieve for those left behind to miss her.

God knows

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:16
I came across this verse today, and it just encouraged me to think of how God knows everything that has and will happen in my life...nothing in my life surprises him. He has a perfect plan for my life and knows exactly what is best for me.

Paul Wesley Green

Please pray for this little guy and his family during this difficult time!

35 comments for $35

I may or may not make it back on here today for Foto Friday, but meanwhile, this blogger is donating $35 to World Vision to provide needed medicines to children in poor countries for every 35 comments she receives on this post! Head over and leave a comment sometime today to help her reach her goal and you'll also be entered in a fun giveaway!

Little Feet (Foto Friday)

Kitten Feet

Baby Feet (Footprints)

Big feet (slightly sunburned from wearing flip flops)


Visit Rebecca's blog to see lots more little feet!

"Oh I Want To Know You More" (Steve Green)

Oh Lord, let this be the constant prayer of my heart

I pray for life

Water (Foto Friday)

Visit Rebecca's Blog to see other pictures of water from this week's Foto Friday, or for details on how to participate in next week's challenge!

Black and White (Foto Friday)

Visit Rebecca's blog to see other "Black and White" pictures from this week's challenge or to participate in next week's Foto Friday!

A Slight Breeze (Foto Friday)

I am a novice photographer, and was hard-pressed to find wind with the 100+ degree temperatures we've been having, but did manage to to catch a little breeze. :)

To participate in Foto Friday, visit Rebecca at Renaissance.

Take My Life and Let It Be

We sang this song at church a few weeks ago, and the first part really struck me...
"Take my life and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee. Take my moments and my days, let them flow in ceaseless praise."
As I sang these words, I really started to think...what would my moments and days truly look like if they were flowing in ceaseless praise to my Savior and King? Yes, I do try to live my life for Christ, but I don't think I am really that conscious of how I am living my life moment by moment. In the little decisions I make throughout my day, is my life honoring Christ?
"In everything I say and do, let my life honor you, here I am living for your glory"

Rain

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy mother's day to all the mothers out there!

Happy Easter!

On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, "Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: 'The Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.' " Then they remembered his words.
-Luke 24:1-8

And the winner is...

Using this random interger generator, I selected a winner for my baby hat giveaway. And the winner is...
Result: 4
Beth!!!
Congratulations Beth, please contact me at anb1122@live.com and let me know what hat you would like!

Baby Hat giveaway!

I make knit baby hats, and am giving one away as a prize through 5 Minutes for Mom's Ultimate Blog Party. The hat is prize number 124, but there are a bunch of other great prizes, so be sure to check it out! If I win a prize, I'd love to win (in order) number 19, 21, 22, 58, 7, or 118, or, in no particular order, number 27, 26, 13, 5, 1, 23, 102, 51, 52, 45, or 77. But really, I think it would be fun to win any prize! I will also be giving away a baby hat separately from the blog party, so leave a comment below stating why you would like to win one, and I'll choose a winner on March 28.

Prayers for a little baby

A childhood friend of mine had her second baby, Mia Amore, on February 4. And this precious baby girl has been in the NICU struggling to breathe on her own and fighting for her life ever since. Please pray for baby Mia, and visit her family's website to learn more about her and see the latest prayer requests.

It's a good thing...

...he wasn't president when he was born, or he just might not have been!

I have never...

Or rather, I have done the things in bold below:

Started your own blog (more than one, actually)

Slept under the stars

Played in a band

Visited Hawaii

Watched a meteor shower

Given more than you can afford to charity

Been to Disneyland/world

Climbed a mountain

Held a praying mantis

Sang a solo

Bungee jumped

Visited Paris

Watched a lightning storm at sea

Taught yourself an art from scratch

Adopted a child

Had food poisoning (probably)

Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty

Seen the Mona Lisa in France

Slept on an overnight train

Had a pillow fight

Hitchhiked

Taken a sick day when you’re not ill

Built a snow fort

Held a lamb (in Peru)

Gone skinny dipping (does it count if I had my suit on?)

Been to a Broadway show in NY

Ran a Marathon

Been in three states at once

Ridden in a gondola in Venice

Seen a total eclipse

Watched a sunrise or sunset

Hit a home run

Been on a Cruise

Seen Niagra Falls in Person

Visited the birthplace of your Ancestors (I wouldn't know where that is, but I have been to Bristow, Oklahoma)

Seen an Amish community

Taught yourself a new language

Had enough money to be truly satisfied (if only money would truly satisfy...)

Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person

Gone rock climbing

Seen Michelangelo’s David

Sung karaoke

Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt

Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant

Visited Africa

Walked on a beach by moonlight (sort of...we didn't walk far)

Been transported in an ambulance

Had your portrait painted

Gone deep sea fishing

Seen the Sistine Chapel in person

Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris

Gone scuba diving or snorkeling (and I was so terrified I almost wouldn't get out of the boat!)

Kissed in the rain

Played in the mud (my favorite childhood pastime!)

Been to Grace Kelley’s grave in Monaco

Gone to a drive-in theater

Been in a movie

Visited the Great Wall of China

Started a business

Taken a martial arts class

Swam in the Mediterranean Sea

Visited Russia

Served at a soup kitchen (homeless shelter?)

Sold Girl Scout cookies (I've bought them)

Gone whale watching

Gotten flowers for no reason

Donated blood, platelets or plasma (I do it every 8 weeks)

Gone sky diving

Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp

Bounced a check

Saved a favorite childhood toy (I saved nearly all of them, actually)

Visited the Lincoln Memorial

Eaten Caviar

Pieced a quilt

Stood in Times Square

Toured the Everglades

Been fired from a job

Seen the Changing of the Guards in London

Broken a bone (my 2nd toe)

Been on a speeding motorcycle

Seen the Grand Canyon in person

Published a book

Visited the Vatican

Bought a brand new car

Walked in Jerusalem

Had your picture in the newspaper

Read the entire Bible

Visited the White House

Killed and prepared my own meat

Had chickenpox

Saved someone’s life

Sat on a jury

Met someone famous

Joined a book club

Lost a loved one

Had a baby

Seen the Alamo in person

Swam in the Great Salt Lake

Been involved in a law suit

Owned a cell phone

Been stung by a bee

What is this country coming to???

My older sister lives in LA. So on Friday, she's driving her car, and a lady runs a stop sign, causing my sister to hit the lady's car. Now, the lady doesn't speak any English (my sister speaks fluent Spanish, however, so they can still converse) and doesn't even have a driver's license. She also has no auto insurance. My sister calls the police, but when they arrive, they refuse to make an accident report. So basically, they do nothing, when this lady is here illegally, driving without a license, and has no car insurance?!?! At the very least they should have written her a ticket and impounded the car. Or at least made an accident report! Now that is jacked up!!!

a word of life

"God is higher than anything and anyone,
outshining everything you can see in the skies.
Who can compare with God, our God,
so majestically enthroned,
Surveying his magnificent
heavens and earth?
He picks up the poor from out of the dirt,
rescues the wretched who've been thrown out with the trash,
Seats them among the honored guests,
a place of honor among the brightest and best.
He gives childless couples a family,
gives them joy as the parents of children.
Hallelujah!"
(Psalm 113:4-9, The Message)

Haha

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), the FBI, and the CIA want to see who is best at catching perps. So a rabbit is released into the forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After months of extensive investigation, they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later, dragging a bruised mountain lion behind them. The mountain lion is yelling, "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

Joy to the World

"Your Father loves you!"

About a month ago the pastor at my church gave a sermon on finding God in difficult times and how He helps us through trials and is there in our pain. At the end Pastor Dane told the story about Steven Curtis Chapman's youngest daughter Maria getting run over (and killed) by his 17-year-old son Will back in May, the night before Will was to graduate highschool. And Pastor Dane said that when Will ran over Maria, he ran and grabbed his sister and held her and screamed for his parents for help. And since they live in the country, a helicopter came to airlift Maria to Vanderbilt. And as Steven went to get into the helicopter with Maria, knowing she was probably going to die because of the severity of her injuries, he called out, "Will! Your father loves you!" And when asked about it later, he said, "I didn't want to lose two children that night." And when Will was asked how he has gotten through this most difficult time, he said through the love and support of his parents and family. And Pastor Dane said it's like that with God. In the midst of our most difficult times, He's calling out to us, "Your Father loves you!"

The End of the Spear

I watched this movie, about Jim Elliott, Nate Saint, and the others who gave their lives witnessing to the Waodani people in Ecaudor in the 1950's. I know the story well; I've known it since I was little. But for some reason, while watching this movie, something struck me differently...at one point, Nate Saint's little boy asks him if he will defend himself if the Waodani attack. And he says something like, "No, we can't. The Waodani aren't ready to meet the Lord. We are." And just like that, these five brave missionaries gave their lives, not fighting back when the Waodani attacked them, even though they had guns with them. Because they were ready to meet Christ, and they knew that their attackers were not.
Given the same opportunity, I don't know if I could do the same. I can only hope so.

Wind

Yesterday and Sunday, the Santa Ana winds were blowing hard. When I walked out my front door yesterday afternoon, I discovered that a bunch of branches had blown off my palm tree and knocked my tomato plant completely over. Then, in the evening, when I was watching TV, the station (and every other channel) suddenly went out. So I decided to go up and check my email instead. Or not...my internet was down too. Oh well, at least the power didn't go out.

Twice as nice

Christmas Shoeboxes

I remember as a child of maybe 10 or so, filling a shoebox with Christmas gifts for a child in war-torn Bosnia, to be delivered by an organization called Samaritan's Purse through an effort they called "Operation Christmas Child". My three siblings and I each carefully selected toys, crayons, mittens, and scarves, wrapped our shoebox tops and bottoms separately, and then each wrote a letter to the child we were sending the gifts to. My child wrote back to me, and I corresponded with this girl for the next couple years.
During my first year at college in Santa Barbara, I was again given the opportunity to fill shoeboxes with Christmas goodies, and I took great joy in filling two shoeboxes, one for a little girl and one for a little boy, to be shipped I don't know where this time.
This year, the Lockwood family, a missionary family in Mexico that I follow by blog, will be passing out Christmas shoeboxes to the children in the town where they serve. They are hoping to be able to pass out ~200 boxes, bringing joy to each child and an opportunity to share the source of true joy, Jesus Christ. I have already made a couple of boxes to send, and have had so much fun doing it! Here is a link to the instructions they have posted if anyone is interested in making one!

Rich

Kudos

...to whoever invented this:



Honestly, I think the Baby Bjorn is the best invention since...I don't know, the microwave maybe? Or the car?

No description needed

Pet peeves...

1. Protecting yourself from the sun. All it took was one skin cancer lecture my first year of med school, and I haven't laid out in the sun since. I cover myself with sunscreen religiously, and encourage anyone I'm with to do the same. And it drives me crazy to see people at the beach laying out in the sun, almost naked and bright red. One in three people will get skin cancer in their lifetime, and having fair skin increases your chances.

2. Motor vehicle safety, i.e. placing your infant in a rear-facing child seat until at least 12 months of age and 20 pounds, and a forward-facing child seat until at least 6 years of age and 60 pounds. Furthermore, don't place your child under 12 years of age in the front seat (air bags kill kids!), and use a child seat with a 5-point harness (not a booster seat with an adult seat belt) until your child is at least 40 pounds.

3. Proofread what you write. Spelling and grammatical errors drive me crazy. (However, I do know that I am not completely exempt from making them occasionally. I am, after all, not completely perfect... ;)

4. Don't waste food. For whatever reason, I can't seem to throw away food until it is obviously too old to eat.

5. Letting your cell phone ring and interrupt church/lectures/conversations/etc.

6. Lateness. I can't stand being late, but I don't mind it as much in others.

7. Eating in front of people without offering the other person some (I mean, that's just plain rude).

Today I decided to get my car washed...

But first I had to clean it out...and yes, all of this was it in. And I did say car, not moving van.

Don't let the plethera of kid stuff - the stroller, snuggli, baby formula, sidewalk chalk, bubbles, etc. - fool you, I don't actually have kids, even though I do spend a lot of time with them.

My car looks great now, although I'm still getting used to how well I can see out the windows when I drive. ;-)

Beauty for Ashes?

"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me...to grant consolation & joy to those who mourn in Zion - to give them a garland of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a heavy, burdened, & failing spirit - that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified." Isaiah 61.1 & 3

These past several years have been so difficult in so many ways. If I could have known three years ago at the start of medical school, or five years ago when I started at Westmont, where I would be today, I don't think I could have handled it. In fact, I know I couldn't have. There is a reason we cannot see or know what the future holds. At this point, consider how the past few years have been, I wouldn't want to know the future even if I could. I keep waiting for the "beauty for ashes", to see how this puzzle fits together, to figure out the why of all this pain. But I may never know this side of heaven, and things may never get any better or easier...Which is kind of hard to swallow

Things I like

In no particular order...

Rain. My kittens. The beach. My car. Chocolate. My house (condo). My family. Babies. Sleeping. My church. Friends. My watermelon bowls. Picture frames. Babysitting. Decorating my house. Shopping. Coffee Bean. Buying new clothes. Playing games. Starbucks. Drawing and painting (sort of. I'm not really very good at either). Phase 10. Driving. Blankets. Old Navy. Santa Barbara. Getting my car washed. Christmas trees. Pictures. Music. Fireworks. Flying. Dancing. Christmas lights. My digital camera. My Bible (which, incidentally, I stole (borrowed?) from my church after mine was stolen when my car was broken into last March!). Having company. Shoes. Journals. My guest book. Weddings. Children's books. Dresses. Candles. Miniature golfing. Grey's Anatomy. Reading (sometimes. Only if it's a really good book). Bowling. Watching movies with my sisters. Buying things for my cats. My air conditioner. Pens (of any kind, really). Organization. My garden. Children. Buying things for people. Jigsaw puzzles (as long as they're not missing any pieces...that drives me crazy for whatever reason!). Roller coasters. Dolphins. Baby showers. Furniture.

(I was having a bad day, not for any particular reason, so I figured maybe thinking of all the things I love would make me feel better. Hmm, that should do for now.)

Summer...

This summer my time has primarily been occupied by an internship I have been doing at Kids Come First, a medical clinic for uninsured or underinsured children. When I finish this, I will be completely finished with my MPH in global health. I have also been busy with WorldWorks, as I was part of a Leadership Practice team for the past three months (that finished the last weekend of July). We worked with a homeless shelter for families in Corona, and put on several "Kids' Days", on-site carnivals of sorts. Pictures below.
I have continued working three afternoons/evenings a week with autistic children, and I've started going to a Bible study on Friday nights. So far I've only been to one, but I liked it a lot and plan to keep going.
Lastly, I've been babysitting a ton these past couple of weeks. Lots of fun, but a little tiring too.

Ice Cream Flavor

Your Ice Cream Personality:

You are an incredibly modest person. You don't feel comfortable bragging about yourself... or even receiving complements. You have a wild reputation, but you're not as wild as you seem. You take risks, but only measured risks. You are a somewhat open minded person, but deep down you're fairly conservative. You don't like trying new things very much. And if you do find something new you like, you stick with it. You are a natural multitasker. You feel alive when you're doing more than one thing at a time. You are fun loving and sweet. You tend to enjoy joking around and teasing people.

The Ice Cream Personality Test

Special Prayers Needed

I've been following the story of sweet Hadley Fox, a little 7-year-old who has been battling a brain tumor for more than four years now. Recently, this family received devastating news from Hadley's MRI - her tumors are growing, and they are out of treatment options. Please pray for Hadley and her family during this time, and visit Hadley's page and leave a note for them in the guestbook. Hadley has two little brothers, who are 6 and 4, and I can only imagine this must be very difficult for them too.

Praising God through the hard times

These past two weeks have been hard...not for any particular reason, just in general. Yesterday I was really struggling with how to stop feeling so down and depressed, and I sensed God saying, "Praise me in spite of the difficult times". Even though it is hard to want to praise God when things aren't going the way I want them to, it can make all the difference in the world. In fact, it is really the only way to get through tough times. My first inclination is usually to pull away from God in anger whenever things don't go my way, but I have to remember that I don't have to feel like praising God in order to do it, and He really does have my best interest at heart.

Suffering...

Why is there such suffering in the world? Why is life so hard?
I'd been struggling with these thoughts, and just generally been feeling depressed, when I stumbled upon the following:

"He is sovereign...I trust God's reasons. I love Him (because He first loved me) and I am committed to trusting His unknown reasons. I praise You, Lord, for what is unknown to me. You know all, You love and have chosen me, therefore Your decisions for my life are acts of provision and love. You are always right and just. I worship You. In Jesus' name, Amen."

Help me to be so trusting, Lord.

Tragic accident - Prayers please

This morning on the radio on my way to work I heard something very sad. Yesterday Steven Curtis Chapman's little five-year-old daughter, Maria, who they adopted from China, got run over and killed in their driveway at about 5pm. Their older son, Will, was driving their SUV and couldn't see Maria and ran over her. The whole thing is just so heart-breaking...that little girl was so loved and wanted. Please pray for the family.

Five...

What I was doing 10 yrs ago: May 1998...I was 15 years old...finishing my freshman year of highschool. I was an AWANA Cubbies leader, sang in a choir, and played sports as well as serving as a junior coach for the 5-7 year old age group. And I really don't remember a whole lot else...

Five things on my to do list for today: 1. Clean my car 2. Take out the kitchen trash 3. Play with my kittens 4. Vacuum 5. Exercise

Things I would do if I were a billionaire: 1. Pay off my home and school loans 2. Take a trip to Europe 3. Give money to charities I am passionate about...children's cancer research, autism, my church... 4. Buy a new car 5. Invest some of it

Three of my bad habits: 1. Making assumptions 2. Procrastinating 3. Being too self-centered

Five places I have lived: 1. San Jose, California 2. Santa Barbara, California 3. Hemet, California 4. Colton, California 5. And that's it.

Five jobs I have had: 1. Babysitter/Nanny 2. Piano teacher 3. Doctor's office receptionist 4. Teacher for autistic children 5. Biochemistry research assistant

Romans 8

Romans 8:1 "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus"
Isn't this a powerful verse? I've been meditating on Romans 8 for the past month or so, and am really trying to take this verse (and the rest of the passage) to heart. We are completely forgiven and free in Christ. I struggle so much with condemning myself for every little thing I do (or don't do), that I often fail to experience Christ's acceptance and grace. I feel like it's a balance though, between being conscious of my sin and yet not weighing myself down with guilt. I am already completely acceptable and pleasing to God, because of Christ's death on the cross and forgiveness for my sin. Now I just have to figure out how to accept myself...

This week...

Has been kind of exhausting. I was out of town last weekend, and just feel like I have so much to catch up on from the past couple weeks. And I haven't been sleeping that well...

Yesterday I tried going to Fox to work on some stuff, but only lasted about an hour, and then went home and took a nap. Then I worked late afternoon/evening. I go back and forth these days between work being a "have to" or a "get to". I love my job, honestly I do, it's just sometimes I am so tired in the late afternoon/evening, and especially as it gets toward 8:30 I am just ready to be done.

Butterscotch caught a bird yesterday morning, which made me sad. But I think it was okay, because the bird flew away when I wasn't looking. Butterscotch and Caramel are indoor only cats, but occasionally I let Butterscotch play on the porch when she wants to...well, not any more though!

What is a vision for your life worth the challenge and discomfort of redesign?

Honestly, right now, I'm not sure. So often, I find myself thinking things like, I want a deeper relationship with God. I want more meaningful relationships with other Christians. I want more purpose and meaning in my life in general. And yet when I actually sit down to make changes in my life, like setting aside more time to spend with God, or making choices for more conscious activities in my life, it is often so much easier not to make these choices, and to just continue doing exactly what I've been doing, living my life exactly the way I have. I guess that is why my life never seems to change. Because I choose for it not to.

What is a life worth living?

I've been pondering this question, since someone asked me it yesterday morning...What is a life worth living? A life lived for Christ and one that brings him honor and glory, yes, most definitely, but what does that actually look like? And what else? What do I really want in this life?
Whenever anyone asks me some variation of this question, I always (if I know the person well enough) say that there are really only three things I want...to be a doctor, to get married, and to have children...things that sometimes (often) seem so out of reach. Anything else that when I was younger I might have wanted I now either have or it is no longer important...I own a house (condo), which was one of my goals when I was a senior in college (although that seems relatively unimportant now in the grand sceme of things), I attend an amazing, Biblically-sound church (which is very important), and I have a number of close, Christian friends (yes, still important). But I guess other things just seem more...lifelong, ya know? Oh yeah, and I have an absolutely amazing family, but I guess I've always kind of taken that for granted, since I grew up with that.
I guess what I should really focus on is a closer relationship with Christ, because nothing else besides Him can truly satisfy...and He will show me how the other pieces of my life should fit into place...

Emerson Grace

The youth pastor at my church, Jason, and his wife, Kristin, had their second baby on January 6, 2008, at just 26 weeks gestation, 14 weeks premature. She weighed just 2 lbs. 2.4 oz, and was 13.78 inches long at birth. Emerson fought hard, and was doing well until Sunday afternoon, when she developed NEC (necrotizing enterocolitis) and her bowel perforated, and she died Monday at 12:20pm. She weighed 4 lbs. 14 oz. when she died, and prior to the sudden complications would have gotten to go home in another week or so. She lived for 9 weeks and 1 day.

I know that to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord, and that Emerson is in heaven with Jesus right now, perfectly healed and free, but something like this is still very sad for those left to miss her. But I guess that when we grieve over things she will never get to do here, opportunities she will never have, etc., we aren't really grieving for Emerson, we're grieving for ourselves, and the things that we will never get to experience with her because she isn't here. Because anything that Emerson might have experienced in 100 years here on earth, pales in comparison to what she is experiencing right now in heaven.

I guess maybe someone who recently lost a baby said what I'm sort of feeling best..."When Adam and Eve were created there was no sin in the world - no mess, no problems, no pain, no sickness, no death. God created humans with no intention of them dying. It's because of our affinity to doing the wrong thing that caused death in the world. I think that's why death is so hard for people to walk through. It's because we were never created to cope with death. We were created to live." (Susie Sams)

1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 "Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him."

Please pray for Emerson's mom and dad, and older brother Finn, who is only 12.5 months old.

Today

I'm watching one of my very best friend's 14-month-old baby for the week while she is out of town. Today is day three. The baby is really good...she sleeps 12 hours at night, takes a 2 hour nap in the morning and a 2 hour nap in the afternoon, and has only cried maybe twice since I've had her. Today, however, was just one of those days...
We started out with her sneezing an entire mouthful of baby food carrots all over herself, me, the floor, the kitchen cupboard, etc. It was really funny, but still a huge mess to clean up. Then we took a shower together (this was what her mom suggested we do...apparently she doesn't like taking baths). That didn't work so well, but the worst part was after we got out. I was wrapped in a towel, I set her down on the floor, and before I had a chance to put her diaper on, she jumped up and started chasing after my cats, which she loves. And not 30 seconds later, before my very eyes, on my carpeted floor, she pooped! And there was nothing I could do, I was across the room and by the time I grabbed her it was too late. I quickly put on her diaper and cleaned things up before she or one of the cats had time to make a bigger mess...Then, fast-forward to this afternoon. While she was napping, I decided to wash a load of laundry (since there were carrots all over her sleeper). And I locked my laundry room key in the laundry room with all my clothes! Could have been worse, I could have locked my house key in there or something (now that would have been an emergency), and I did manage to get the key out when another lady went in to do her laundry...Then, this evening, I had just folded an entire load of laundry, when someone sweetly unfolded it all for me. ;) And then when she turned around, I noticed that she'd found a pen somewhere and had a streak of black ink across her cheek! Fortunately it wasn't permanant! Now she's fast asleep for the night...babies are so sweet when they're sleeping (and most of the time when they're awake too). :)

4 Things

4 Things

4 Jobs I've Had:
1. Babysitter
2. Receptionist, Care First Pediatrics (doctor's office)
3. Nanny for family with 5 children
4. Teacher for autistic children

4 Movies Watched Over and Over:
1. A Walk to Remember
2. Raising Helen
3. Baby Einstein
4.

4 Places I've Lived:
1. San Jose, California
2. Santa Barbara, California
3. Hemet, California
4. Colton, California

4 TV Shows I Watch:
1. Grey's Anatomy
2. ER
3. Private Practice
4. A Baby Story

4 Favorite Places I've Been:
1. Mexico
2. Peru
3. Washington, D.C.
4. Pennsylvania

4. Cities in Europe (that I would love to visit):
1. Paris
2. Dublin
3. Madrid
4. London

4 People who e-mail Me Regularly:
1. My mom
2. School people
3. Julie
4. Anna

4 Places I'd Rather Be:
1. Coffee Bean
2. The beach
3. With friends
4. At home with my family

4 Things I Look Forward to This Year:
1. Finishing this year of school
2.
3.
4.

If you are reading this, consider yourself tagged!

So sad

Last night as I was getting off the freeway on my way to work, I noticed a man and woman at the side of the off ramp...the man was holding a side saying something about Homeless, need help, and was woman was sitting down HOLDING A BABY!!! I did a double take (the light was red, so I had a minute to look), to see if the baby was actually real...she had it wrapped in a blanket and was giving it a bottle...and the baby's eyes blinked, so I knew it was real. And it made me so sad. I really wanted to do something to help, anything, but what??? And I had to get to work...As I drove the final 7 or so minutes to work, I pondered in my head things I could have done/could do for these people...I couldn't take them anywhere in my car - way too dangerous. I could offer to buy them food at Del Taco, just down the street from where they were. Money? But what would they do with it? I didn't really want to do that. Formula or something for the baby? But they could sell it on the black market. Oh man, I overthink absolutely everything! I could connect them with my church and someone there could help them (there's a large park where homeless people live across the street from my church, so the church has helped people out before). But how to get them there...
I knew they wouldn't still be standing out there at 8:30 pm when I got off work. But I did check again this morning when I was coming home from the chiropractor (I don't usually take that offramp when I'm just going home, but I did specifically). They weren't there, so who knows if I'll see them again...I can at least pray for them though...

Personality

Your Personality is Somewhat Common (ISFJ)

Your personality type is stubborn, conservative, trustworthy, and caring. About 13% of all people have your personality, including 18% of all women and 7% of all men You are Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Judging.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

2008

I feel like writing something on here, but am not quite sure what to write. I had a wonderful three-week visit at home with my family over Christmas break. I was able to see a number of good friends and spend lots of time just hanging out, which was so nice. I just love my family! They're the best!
Now I'm back in Loma Linda...school started last week, and I've started my job working with autistic kids again (I had a class last quarter that conflicted with my job schedule so I had to take a break from work for a few months). It's so nice to be back, getting to see all my coworkers again and work with all the kids.
And that about sums up the past week and a half...oh yeah, and I've spent tons of time with Butterscotch and Caramel, my kittens (they missed me a lot, even though the neighbors did take good care of them). I have to get to class, which starts in 10 minutes...

Is anything too hard for the Lord

Is anything too hard for the Lord Genesis 18:14
This is God's loving challenge to you and me each day. He wants us to think of the deepest, highest and worthiest desires and longings of our hearts. He wants us to think of those things that perhaps were desires for ourselves or someone dear to us, yet have gone unfulfilled for so long that we now see them as simply lost desires. And God urges us to think for even the one thing that we once saw as possible but have given up all hope of seeing fulfilled in this life.That very thing, as long as it aligns with that we know to be His expressed will - as a son was to Abraham and Sarah - God intends to do for us. Yes, if we will let Him, God will do that very thing, even if we know it is such an utter impossibility that we would simply laugh at the absurdity of anyone ever suggesting it could come to pass."Is anything too hard for the LORD?" No, nothing is too difficult when we believe in Him enough to go forward doing His will and letting Him do the impossible for us. Even Abraham and Sarah could have blocked God's plan if they had continued to disbelieve.The only thing "Too hard for the LORD" is our deliberate and continual disbelief in His love and power, and our ultimate rejection of His plans for us. Nothing is impossible for Jehovah to do for those who trust Him.

from Messages for the Morning Watch; copied from Luke's blog

My life in Loma Linda

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The most amazing lesson in forgiveness

I had lunch at Applebee's with one of my best friends here in Loma Linda, someone that I've known since before I moved down here two years ago. I had specifically asked her to have lunch with me, since I knew I needed to talk to her about something that I'd been putting off for way too long, months actually. Without going into any details, I didn't tell her about something that occurred months ago, and have since lied about it and made up details to cover up that fact that things aren't exactly the way that they would be if said event hadn't occurred. I didn't tell her originally because I didn't want to hurt her, and I didn't want her to be disappointed with me...I don't know what I thought would eventually happen, I really have no idea...
She had every right to never want to speak to me again... As we sat down at the restaurant, and I began by saying, "I better just say what I need to say now..." because I knew it wasn't going to get any easier, I followed that up by saying, "And if after I say this you want to get up and leave, I'll understand, because you'll have every right to..."
But after I told her the truth, she looked at me and said, "It's okay." She said that multiple times as I kept trying to tell her that it wasn't okay, that what I had done was terrible. But without a second thought, she just forgave me. And she even went on to say that she didn't want things to be awkward between us, that this whole thing was under the rug and done with now. I went on to say that she'd have every right to never believe another word I said, but she simply said, "But I won't have to worry about that now, will I?"
As we parted ways, she said, "So now we're done with this, and we won't have to talk about it again." Forgive and forget. Afterwards, I found myself wondering why Christ had so fully lifted me from any lasting consequences of this, because sin does have consequences... And then I realized, He wanted to teach me an even more important lesson, that of forgiveness. I so often feel that what I have done is so awful, so terrible, that I cannot possibly be forgiven. But if my friend could so easily forgive me and restore our fellowship and allow our friendship to not be awkward, how much more does God do this for me when I confess my sin, stop doing it, and seek His forgiveness?

Childhood Cancer Awareness

Home from Peru

Let’s see, to recap some of the highlights from my last week in Peru (I got home on Thursday)...
But first, just to clarify (after talking to my little sis and finding out that my parents were really worried and thought that I was having a terrible trip after my last apparently “depressing” email)...that week was a bit difficult, but overall, this trip to Peru was absolutely amazing and I loved it more than I could ever have imagined! And it was so eye-opening to the way so, so many people in the world live, so drastically different from the comforts that I am so accustomed to. Anyway, my last week in Puno...we took a boat out to Los Uros Islands, some of the floating islands on Lake Titicaca, which was super fun! It was a little disconcerting at first, since the islands were kind of “squishy”and just made out of straw, but once we got used to it we had a great time. The people make all their houses and huts out of this straw/reed stuff too, and even have boats and look out towers made out of it. We went to the main tourist island, and then had lunch at a more secluded island where they have little teepees that people can stay at for the night. Another fun thing we did in Puno was play sports with the staff of one of the NGOs (non-governmental organizations) that we visited. That was definitely a work out, since Puno is at 13,000 feet above sea level! I skipped the basketball and volleyball, but did get my exercise playing soccer. Our group did lots of subbing in and out, to say the least. In Puno I also did plenty of shopping, lived off their chocolate chip ice cream, fed my leftover bread from Lima to these pigeons in the central park (which was hilarious, because this Peruvian lady came up to me and said, “Oh how wonderful, you’ve come to our country to feed our birds!”), ran up and down the stairs at our hotel what seemed like hundreds of times, and found a Peruvian penpal.

To conclude, these were some of my favorite verses on the trip, and I tried to keep them close to heart as I remembered that I wanted to truly represent Christ's hands as I worked with the people we came in contact with. Colossians 2:2-3 "That their hearts may be encouraged, having been knit together in love, and attaining to all the wealth that comes from the full assurance of understanding, resulting in a true knowledge of God's mystery, that is, Christ Himself, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge."

May God bless you richly as you enjoy the rest of your summer!

Alane

My week in Peru...

The week started out great…we were going to Machu Picchu! That’s about the only thing that’s gone well this week, though…
First, due to recent political strikes causing a back-up at Machu Picchu, we had at leave at 3:30 am instead of the planned 7am or so…then my friend Marc and I somehow got mixed up and thought it was 3am instead of 3:30, so she and I got up a half hour before we needed to and were wandering around downstairs wondering where everyone else was at 3 in the morning! Then our 1+ hour bus ride to the train station was one of the coldest experiences I’ve ever had, feeling colder than the north pole even though I was wearing two pairs of pants, four shirts, and a coat…and our bus driver was terrible…he was weaving all over the road (the curvy mountain road), and when we asked him to turn on the heat he turned on the AC. The 2-hour train ride wasn’t much warmer, and when we got to Aguas Calientes, the town right below Machu Picchu, it was raining. When we got it Machu Picchu (another freezing 25-minute bus ride) it was so foggy and misty we could hardly see a thing, but at least we began it warm up. And it did clear up after about an hour, and we all had a great time exploring and hiking around the ancient Inca civilization.
When we were ready to head back, however, our problems only continued. Our 2:35 train was 2 ½ hours late (they said it had broken down or something)…and by the time it came the people for the 4:20 train were also waiting. What ensued was mass chaos as hundreds of people tried to shove their way onto the train in hopes of making it to their assigned seats first before the other trainload of people…we couldn’t even figure out which coach was ours. No sooner had Eric and I gotten on what we thought was coach B and staked out our territory, then everyone started going crazy and insisting it was coach A. Pretty soon no one knew what coach it was. “They told me this is coach A!” “No, this is B!” “D? Is this D?” Finally it was confirmed that it was in fact A, and we had to shove our way through the masses yet again to reach our real seats. But it all worked out and we got our seats…things only got worse though, because then I started getting sick on the train ride back. And then the bus ride…we almost died! I kid you not, our bus driver passed every single other car, taxi, bus, and truck on the road, on blind curves and uphill stretches, once almost having a head-on collision!
Anyway, I still didn’t feel great Monday, and a bunch of other students were getting sick from eating pizza at Machu Picchu (I didn’t eat any pizza, so go figure why I was sick). And we had a 6+ hour bus ride from Cusco to Puno, with a bathroom that faced backwards, definitely designed by men, for men. And then once we got to Puno, I got locked out of my hotel room for more than an hour! And the front desk was super unhelpful (this is definitely NOT the U.S.). Then I hardly got a wink of sleep because my two roommates were talking really loudly in Spanish till 2am, and then I was up for another hour because I was feeling sick again.
Then we had to get up early to head to our village homestays, where we stay with families in the villages where we were working. Mine was in the village of Chijnaya, 2 hours away in this tiny van, squished in with all our luggage. By the time we got to Chijnaya, I didn’t feel well again, especially after touring the whole village and eating our welcoming lunch (potato and lamb soup – no, I didn’t eat any of the lamb – and rice and pasta with more potatoes). So I went to my homestay family’s home, and laid down and tried to sleep and feel better for the next seven hours, to no avail. Just as I was finally drifting off to sleep, my homestay father burst in to mention that I should probably lock the door because otherwise the dogs would get in during the night! Good thing too, because there was this huge dog fight outside my room during the night! Between that and the cows mooing, chickens crowing, pig oinking, and my family’s baby crying, I really didn’t get much sleep. Oh yeah, and the bathroom (if you could call it that) – which is actually just a hole in the ground surrounded by 3 ½ walls with no door – is located right in the middle of the cow pen, next to the pig sty, so I have to choose between risking getting kicked by one of my family’s enormous cows, or jumping over a pile of fresh manure. Oh yeah, and the food – I did eat breakfast the first day – rice, and the saltiest eggs I’ve ever tasted in my life (but at least they were fully cooked). Lunch – the same thing, which I saved for a dog (I wasn’t eating outside with my family because it was too windy). Dinner – I told my family I didn’t eat much in the evenings, and I’d just have hot tea, which I used the cup to warm my hands and then watered the plant in my room with after it cooled down. The next day: breakfast – potato vegetable noodle soup, I ate it; lunch – rice, chicken, and more potatoes – I ate some of it, as much as I could. Then I left yesterday afternoon – I just couldn’t handle the whole community thing anymore. As most of you can probably guess, forcing myself to eat food I don’t want to, or any food for that matter, is not one of my strong points at all, and I just couldn’t do it any more, not to mention the whole roughing it thing. And it was SO COLD there! I honestly wore the same layered outfit (tights, socks, two pairs of pants, four shirts, sweat shirts, jackets, snow gloves, snow hat) for 48 hours straight, never even taking it off.
But there were some bright spots – getting to test the eyes of about 60 elementary school children, with the Spanish alphabet (good thing that’s one thing I know!); giving the elementary kids crayons and pencils we had brought and doing a drawing project with them; getting to know my Chijnayan family in the VERY limited Spanish that I know; sharing pictures of my family with them; finally getting their 23-month-old baby to like me after I gave him a blow up ball and played catch with him (he’s very shy and was terrified of me at first); dancing with the community and laughing along with them at the community theatre we put on, even though I couldn’t understand most of it, except through context; giving my homestay gift to my family yesterday, as well as little gifts I’d brought for their kids, and being given a beautiful handmade wallhanging the mother of my family had made for me in return; having devotions with our group from Loma Linda and realizing just how much God has blessed us this trip; and bonding with my fellow students over shared crazy homestay experiences!!!
Okay, that’s the end of my novel for now, hope you all are well, and appreciating all the things we take for granted in life so often!

This is Peru!

This is Peru...Honking cars everywhere. Shopkeepers begging you to buy their wares. Children selling little dolls on the streets. "One sol!" (about 33 cents) Other little children, scarcely toddlers, grimey and wearing tattered clothes, begging for just a little money. Scuffed with dirt and dust on their faces and clothes but still full of energy and with beautiful smiles, I can barely resist the urge to give them money. If I were´t with the other students, I would give in. Taxi drivers that fly and swerve through the streets so crazily you are sure you will not arrive at your destination alive. Restrooms that almost never seem to be stocked with toilet paper. And when they are, do not put it in the toilet, put it in the trash! Cars, taxis, and buses that NEVER yield to pedestrians, even in crosswalks (be careful crossing streets!). Restaurants that are overwhelmed by groups of 7 or 8 people at one time. Clothes...hats, sweaters, gloves, socks...all sold for a fraction of what they cost in the U.S. (and I hear it's even cheaper in Cusco!). Cab rides that would cost about $40+ for one person in the U.S. are about $3 for five people here. The weather is cool and misty, and often cold...I haven´t been cold in months! Showers that have hot water...sometimes...but are often cold (or unpredictable)...needless to say I have only taken two showers since getting here four days ago, since I´ve only been able to time it right twice. Coordinated, organized packing is everything...I can't even begin to count how many times I've completely turned both my suitcases and my backpack totally upside down just looking for my toothbrush (not to mention numerous other things). And it was well-founded for me to want to bring food...I've only missed breakfast 3/4 times...yesterday my roommate Elise and I completely overslept both our alarms and BARELY made it to our 9am lecture! But peanut butter and crackers and granola bars rock!

Five Factor Personality Test

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have low extroversion. You are quiet and reserved in most social situations. A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you. You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people. Conscientiousness: You have medium conscientiousness. You're generally good at balancing work and play. When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done. But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it. Agreeableness: You have medium agreeableness. You're generally a friendly and trusting person. But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism. You get along well with others, as long as they play fair. Neuroticism: You have high neuroticism. It's easy for you to feel shaken, worried, or depressed. You often worry, and your worries prevent you from living life fully. You tend to be emotionally reactive and moody. You're either flying very high or feeling very low. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is low. You're a pretty conservative person, and you favor what's socially acceptable. You think that change for novelty's sake is a very bad idea. While some may see this as boring, many see you as dependable and wise.

The Five Factor Personality Test

"Autism Speaks"

"A world where.."

Description: images of autistic children- facts about autism
Charity: autismspeaks
Author: Bill Shea
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Views: 213734
Posted: 3/23/07 5:04 PM
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Always remember...

Always remember, when God made you He did so with a purpose and a plan. He saw all your days before you lived one of them and placed over you the covering of His protective love. He has allowed nothing to come into your life that has not first been screened through that love. His hand has remained upon you to this very day. He calls you by name. You are His beloved child... the apple of His eye... the delight of His heart. Today you are in the exact place He wants you to be, and tomorrow He will be with you as He has always been - in goodness, in kindness, in faithfulness.